Decline
by OSuzanne
Summary: WARNING: Character death. "It's not too late yet to stop this, to end his obsession before it ends him." Buckets of angst. I let Robin fall down the crazy hole in this one. Deals a lot with the rest of the team. Rob/Star, Star/OC, BB/OC, Cy/Rae eventually
1. Chapter 1

**Decline**

**Summary (PG version)**: "If I ever end up like Robin, do me a favor okay? Shoot me."

**Warnings:** Character death, buckets of angst and anger.

**Pairings:** Rob/Star, Star/OC, BB/OC, Rae/Cy (Eventually)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Teen Titans, which is probably good for their health, in this case.

**Author's Note:** Robin's obsession with Slade spawned this piece. I wrote this story starting with the idea: What if he reached that same level of obsession with every villain he faced? The answer that I came up was a not a happy one. You have been warned.

* * *

He is falling down the slippery slope into the abyss. Over time, it becomes clearer and clearer that this is indeed what is happening. Even Robin himself recognizes it. It's not too late yet to stop this, to end his obsession before it ends him.

Robin doesn't like to think about it. It's painful. When he does think about it, he's usually past the point of exhaustion and in no state to make a clear judgment about it anyways. He wouldn't think about it then, but he can't help it. Totally exhausted, he cannot maintain the carefully erected barriers around such thoughts.

When Raven thinks about it, this compulsion of Robin's, it frightens her, because she knows him so well. Too well, for her liking. The bond they share means she understands him better than anyone else. Better even than Starfire, who loves Robin but has no frame of reference to truly understand this aspect of him. Raven knows and understands the darkness and guilt he feels always, because she feels it too. She's always felt it. She worries, sometimes, that their connection is too strong, too established, that his life is projecting on hers and she will someday be consumed by her demons as she watches Robin slowly succumbing to his own. She understands his obsession, but can't explain it to anyone else, because she understands it through feelings and not words. Still, this insight doesn't change the fact that she knows the obsession is unhealthy.

Starfire is frightened too, if for different reasons than Raven. Starfire sees the man she loves disappearing before her eyes. She sees him being consumed by his need to eliminate all evil in the world. She tried once, to gently tell him it was a fool's errand. She knows there is and will always be evil. But Robin rejected this theory, and pushed her away. He yelled at her that day, hurtful things she knows he can't have meant. But they hurt still.

Beast Boy is quieter now. Robin's obsession has reached such levels that even the rambunctious prankster of the group is subdued by worry. Beast Boy can feel the wrongness that hangs in the Tower now, that has been hanging and refuses to be dispelled. He notices changes in the others too. They are all of them more withdrawn, in response to their leader's mood. Not intentionally and not by a lot, but enough to be worrying. Sometimes the green Titan thinks he can see madness waiting, lurking just out of sight. Sometimes he thinks Robin has already gone mad.

Robin's behavior worries Cyborg. Robin withdraws more and more, leaving Cyborg the defacto leader. It's hard, much more difficult than he imagined. Especially with Robin the way he is now: unpredictable. For the most part he lets Cyborg be in charge, but occasionally overrules him for no apparent reason. Though he knows it is unfair to think so, sometimes Cyborg thinks Robin is doing it on purpose, just to show he's still the boss. What is more worrying is that he cannot draw Robin out. Robin leads the missions, but back at the Tower, he will not lead. He spends most of his time in his room or training, endless training. Sometimes he comes up with new training routines for the team, which Cyborg, has to admit, are usually pretty good. But it's obvious to everyone that Robin is no longer the sole leader of the team, and the dual leadership is hurting everyone.

Still, they stumble along, and the team more or less holds together.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed this. There are more chapters to come._

_~OSuzanne_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Still don't own the Teen Titans. A bit of cursing in this chapter, and lots of yelling and angst.

* * *

_

It was hard to pinpoint exactly when it began, or when exactly they started to get really worried about Robin. But in Cyborg's mind, one incident stood out:

"_Cyborg 10, Beast Boy zeee-ro! Oh yeah! Who's the man?" Cyborg jumped up and did a little victory dance._

"_No way dude!" Beast Boy yelled. "You totally cheated on the last level."_

"_You're just jealous 'cause I'm better at it than you."_

_The argument came to an abrupt end as Raven swept into the room, her face thunderous._

"_If I ever end up like Robin do me a favor, okay? Shoot me."_

_Though she spoke in her usual detached tones, her voice had an edge, a barely suppressed quiver in it. She turned and phased out of the room, without waiting for a reply._

_Beast Boy and Cyborg sat in shocked silence._

"_Man, she sounds really pissed," Beast Boy said, truly astonished. "Even I've never made her that mad."_

The fracturing point, when the dual command broke down, unlike the first prickling worries, was painfully clear. The turning point came when Robin dragged them into a fight against a particularly nasty villain, without properly briefing them first. Robin's anger was great and negatively affected his ability to fight. The team was badly injured and was unable to defeat the villain. They returned to the Tower, licking their wounds. After patching up the rest of the team as best he could for the time being, Cyborg sought out Robin.

"_What the hell is wrong with you Robin?" he yelled, shaking with fury. "We could have been killed!"_

"_We wouldn't have been killed! I wouldn't have let that happen. Okay, so I miscalculated and—"_

"_Miscalculated?" Cyborg exclaimed incredulously_

"_Cyborg, look, I—"_

"_No, you listen to me! Listen to me for one second! You've gone too far this time. You put us all in danger by not telling us how dangerous this guy was and that's why we got hurt. You didn't tell us everything we needed to know because you needed to be a hero or something. You're an adult, if you want to go pulling silly stunts like that I can't stop you but you are not doing this to the team again. I will not let you put the rest of us in danger to satisfy some little heroic fantasy of yours, do you hear me?!"_

_Robin spluttered incoherently, face dark with rage._

"_I'm not going to let this happen again, Robin. I'm taking full responsibility for this team. You're done."_

"_What?!"_

"_I'm not going to kick you out of the Tower though goodness knows I want to. You are a danger to yourself, and you are a danger to the team and I am not going to let you risk our lives for your own personal vendettas."_

"_How dare you! You don't even know what the rest of the team wants," Robin threatened, their faces inches away from each other._

"_I think I have a pretty damn good idea that they don't want what we've got at the moment! But you are right. I will inform them of what I've done and why, and let them decide what we should do next."_

"_I'm coming too."_

"_Fine. They should hear what you have to say. But for now, I am the only leader of the Titans."_

_Robin looked as though he might continue the dispute, but Cyborg fixed a death glare upon him._

_Robin screamed in fury and stalked off to his room, slamming the door behind him._

After a long and painful discussion, Raven, Starfire and Beast Boy agreed that Robin was unfit to lead, and voted to have Cyborg take over. Robin continued to live at the Tower, but it was never the same as it had once been. He kept entirely to himself, and rarely interacted with the rest of them. He continued to pursue villains on his own, separate from those the rest of the Titans dealt with.

"_Man, I haven't ever seen Starfire this shaken up," Beast Boy commented one day._

"_It's understandable," Cyborg sighed. "It's pretty rough for her. We were his friends, but she loved him, deeply and completely. And now he only comes into contact with us when he absolutely has to."_

"_I wish things were the way they used to be, before Robin became…"_

"_I know. I had hoped he would snap out of it, or that Starfire could pull him out of it, or that we could help him somehow."_

_Beast Boy saw the pain and guilt in his friend's eyes, and put a hand on the taller man's arm. "You know we've done everything we could. We can't force him to get help. Goodness knows we've tried anyway, but I think there is nothing new we can do."_

"_That's an uncharacteristically mature statement for you," Cyborg replies, his lips twitching up slightly._

"_Thanks Cyborg, you really know how to compliment a guy," Beast Boy shot back, his voice a mixture of sarcasm and amusement._

Their discomfort at the situation grew over time. Cyborg especially, felt the strain acutely.

"_What? Are you trying to defend Robin now?" Cyborg asked Raven angrily._

"_No. I'm not trying to justify his actions. I'm just telling you what I know. I've felt him struggling. He does want to be part of the team, to stop this… these things he does, his obsessions. I can feel that."_

"_Clearly he doesn't want to bad enough." Cyborg said darkly._

"_You may be right. I'm not sure he can stop; he's definitely struggling with it. I think, that maybe, he can't help himself. This has been such a big part of him—" she paused, struggling for words to describe this "—it's been his life for so long, I'm not sure he can stop. I'm not sure he remembers how to live any other way," she finished, a touch of sadness in her voice.

* * *

_

_A/N 2: This the angriest chapter of anything I've written to date, I think. The rest of this story is calmer (so far), but still heavy and fairly dark._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I don't own 'em and am making no profit from this story.

* * *

_

When they learned Robin had died fighting the latest villain he'd been tracking, none of them were surprised, not really. They had known for several years that this would happen. The point of no return had been passed, and they knew then, for sure, that Robin's obsession would consume him. It was only a matter of time.

When they went through his possessions, they discovered he was also aware of the inevitable consequence of his actions.

"_Hey, look at this, you guys."_

_Beast Boy held up an envelope on which was printed in Robin's distinctive scrawl: To be opened by Cyborg, Raven, Beast Boy and Starfire in the event of my death._

"_We should open it."_

"_Agreed."_

_Beast Boy pulled out a piece of paper. "Hey, it's a letter to us!" The letter, lengthy and heartbreakingly honest, concluded:_

_**I'm no fool. I'm aware of what my **__**obss**__** extreme desire to take down evil in our city. I can see my end as plain as day, and the only questions that remain are where and when it will take place. I know with absolutely certainty that I will die soon. It's difficult to describe this certainty, but I guess the best way to explain it is my life is like an imminently approaching train wreck. I can see the fatal obstacle sitting on the tracks, way down the line. And of course, since I can see it, it's already too late. I could slam on the brake but it's not going to help, I'm still going to hit the thing.**_

_**A lot of bad things have passed between me and you guys, and for that, I am sorry. I wish our lives had not turned out this way. If you will permit me, in memory of the friendship and camaraderie we once shared, I should like to wish you good luck.**_

_**I have much work that I still must do. Therefore I will leave you,**_

_**With respect for what once was,**_

_**Robin

* * *

**_

_A/N: Even though this chapter is short, I thought I'd go ahead and post it because I'm going to be on vacation until early next week, so there will not be any updates for a while. I'm not going to kill anyone else off, so the rest of the story will be more hopeful. I would really appreciate knowing what you think about my story, whether you like it or hate it or somewhere in between. I'm always open to constructive criticism._


	4. Moving On

_I do not own the Teen Titans, nor I am writing this for profit.

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_

Raven makes sure she visits Robin's grave a couple of times a year. She tidies the plot, and occasionally leaves a single flower. She owes him that much. She would never admit it to any of the others, but there is a niggling thought, always in the back of her mind, that somehow she did not do enough. That there was something else she could have done. Stupid to think so. She knows, intellectually, that she did, that they did everything they could for Robin, and what happened to him was not their fault. But that does not make it hurt less, or lessen the vague sense of guilt she carries with her.

Raven often sees red roses on the grave when she comes, and she knows Starfire has been there recently. They never come together. For her part, Raven would rather grieve and pay her respects alone. She has never asked Starfire about it, and neither has Starfire mentioned it to her. She suspects Cyborg also visits, but she is not certain. Robin's death is not something any of them talk about. It is better, easier, to leave that topic alone.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

When Beast Boy set out to travel the world several years ago, Raven had predicted he wouldn't last more than a month, but to her surprise, he seemed to have found something unusual that he enjoyed and that worked for him. He sends her postcards regularly. Apparently he doesn't send the others notes as often, because they always come to her to find out what Beast Boy is up to.

"_Hey, Raven?" Cyborg asked._

"_Hmm?"_

"_Is Beast Boy going to be back in time for Star's graduation?"_

"_Yes. He's coming back from Beijing on the twelfth, and isn't leaving for Vancouver until the twenty-eighth."_

Raven always shakes her head when she reads about Beast Boy's latest escapades, but she keeps every postcard in a box, in the back of the drawer, under some kitchen towels. She doesn't want the others to know she keeps them, to know that she does find Beast Boy amusing, that she does feel friendship for him after all.

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

"_Congratulations Star!" Cyborg grinned from ear._

"_You'll make a wonderful teacher," Raven added._

"_Yeah, you're great with kids. And your English is so much better!" Beast Boy exclaimed, astonished. _

"_Thank you, all of you. It means so much to me to have you here." Starfire wiped her eyes. "This is one of the proudest days of my life."_

* * *

_Sorry about how short this is and how little actually happens. I needed a transition to the second part of this story, since it's written in a different style than the first part and moves on to incorporate some other ideas. The next chapter should be up by the end of the weekend at the latest._

_~OSuzanne_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I do not own the Teen Titans, but Peter Gram is mine. I make no profit from this story. I'm sorry I didn't get this posted when I said I would.

* * *

_

"_Where do you want this chair to go, Star?"_

"_Could you put it over by the bookcase? Thanks. So, tell us what Beast Boy's been up to. I think I've heard from him about twice since Peter's and my wedding."_

"_Apparently he's rented a house in California with a couple of his friends. He's going to try to either become a comic strip artist or comic book artist."_

"_I hope he's got a back-up plan," Cyborg comments. "Neither of those is easy to make a living at."_

"_He claims he'll work in food service or something to support himself until he gets a break. Star, Cyborg and I can start moving boxes to the kitchen if you want to begin unpacking in here."_

"_That would be great. You guys are the best."_

**XXXX**

"_How goes life at the university?" Cyborg asks Raven as they unpack the second box of Star's silverware._

"_Not bad. The students haven't burned the place down yet."_

"_I imagine the students who visit the rare book room aren't the ones who you would need to worry about._

"_That's true. We only get a real nutty one about once a year. And the mechanics shop? Are you enjoying working there?"_

"_Definitely," he enthuses. "I get to play with machinery and get paid for it. What could be better?"_

_Peter enters the kitchen. "Have you guys seen the extra paint trays?"_

"_I think they're in the bedroom somewhere," Cyborg replies._

Starfire makes sure she keeps in touch with all of her friends, Raven in particular. She worries about Raven, who keeps to herself and doesn't encourage friendships, though Star knows Raven values highly the few friendships she maintains. On the whole she likes Raven as she is, still very much as she was when she was Titan, but more open, and private in a less antagonistic way. Every once in a while, something Raven says or does reminds Star of Robin. She has to remind herself that Robin and Raven shared a unique connection, and that their habits undoubtably rubbed off on each other; and that Raven always had a darkness within her. Fortunately, the darkness surfaces less and less as time passes.

"_So how are your—what was that phrase you used?—oh yes, 'tiny terrors'?"Raven allowed a smirk to flit across her face._

"_They're fine, and that's not fair! I was having a bad day when I used that phrase to describe them," Starfire mock complained. "My students are usually quite well-behaved for first-graders."_

"_They have a good teacher," Raven replied, and continued to fold baby clothes._

"_Thank you," Starfire said, and meant it. Compliments from Raven are few and far between._

"_Are you sure you're okay with this?" Starfire asked anxiously, changing the subject. "The doing housework thing. I mean, it's not that exciting."_

"_It doesn't bother me, as long as you don't make me change any dirty diapers. You're on your own for that. I know you're busy with Rose and with Peter gone, you've lost your helper."_

"_Okay, if you're sure you're okay with it."_

"_I'm sure, Star. When Peter gets back from his business trip you can drag me off to your spa or something if it'll make you feel better."_

"_No, you can pick the place we go next. I know you're not overly fond of spas. You only go because you're nice to me."_

_Raven grabbed the basket, now full of clean of clothes and headed to the baby's room calling over her shoulder: "Me, nice? You must be getting delusional in your old age."_

"_If I'm old, so are you," Starfire fired back goodnatureadly. "Maybe you're just getting soft."_

"_I'm going to treat that comment with the contempt it deserves."_

_Rose started crying just as the phone rang._

"_Raven, can you take Rose while I answer the phone?"_

"_Sure."_

_Raven picked up the baby and rocked her gently, while making soothing noises. A minute later the doorbell rang._

"_I've got it Star," Raven called. She shifted Rose to her hip and answered the front door. _

"_Yes?"_

"_I've got a package for a Mrs. Peter Gram."_

"_I can take it."_

"_Here you go then," he replied, placing a small package into her free hand._

_Raven closed the door and returned to living room._

"_Package for you,"she said, handing it to Starfire, who was off the phone. "It looks like it's from your husband."_

_Starfire took it and then looked at Raven again and giggled. _

"_What?"_

"_It's just—you look so domestic," Starfire smiled._

_Raven glared at her._

"_It's not a bad thing," Starfire hurried to assure her.

* * *

_

_A/N 2: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. I am always happy to get feedback on my stories._

_This is indeed the first time you're hearing about Star's husband and new house and then the new baby. I didn't write a backstory for them, they just showed up when I was writing this. _


	6. Living Arrangements

_A/N: Two chapters in one day! This one takes place at some undisclosed amount of time after the fifth chapter. At least a year later, though. _

_If I owned the Teen Titans I wouldn't be writing fanfic.

* * *

_

"_I have a big favor to ask," Cyborg tells Raven. "And I completely understand if you say no. I mean, I would have asked Beast Boy, but he hasn't had a permanent place in the city in years. Star and Peter are expecting their second kid any day now, so I didn't want to impose on them, and, well, I don't want to impose on you either but, I—"_

"_You're rambling, Cyborg," Raven interrupts, a touch of annoyance in her voice. "Get to the point will you? I promise I won't blast your head off or anything."_

_He takes a deep breath. "My apartment building is being sold to some guy who wants to turn it into a fancy high rise. I have a month to find a new place and I'm looking for one, but with the economy and everything the way it is, I'd feel a lot better if I knew you would let me stay at your place for a few days if I run into bad luck and can't find a new place in time. A back-up plan, you know? I fully intend to have a new apartment before my time is up, but just in case I need just a couple of days…I swear I'd get out of your hair as soon as possible."_

"_Cyborg, you're my friend. Of course you can stay. If you end up needing to stay a little longer than a few days, that's fine. I trust you, and I know you're going to be doing everything you can to find a place of your own."_

"_Thank you Raven, you have no idea how much that sets my mind at ease."_

**XXXXXXX**

But apartments are scare, and he cannot find one that he can afford and is close enough to where he works. So he moves into Raven's apartment, temporarily.

"_You can use the spare bedroom," she tells him._

_He spends the afternoon pouring over the advertisements he has seen a hundred times already, looking for something he's missed, or if he's lucky, something new in today's paper._

_Later she comes and knocks on the door._

"_Come in," he calls absentmindedly, not bothering to look up._

"_Dinner's ready."_

'_Okay, I'll be there in a minute."_

"_Any luck?"_

"_Maybe. There are a couple of places I'd like to take a look at tomorrow."_

_He follows her to the room that serves as the dining and living room. He surveys the table._

"_I didn't know you could cook," he says, surprised, before he can stop himself._

_She glares at him but after all these years he knows she's not really angry with him. Exasperated, yes, but not angry._

"_Just because I didn't cook at the Tower doesn't mean I don't know how to. You were always happy to do it, so I never had to."_

"_Well, this is really good," he says sincerely._

" _Thanks," she replies. She gets up to find more napkins, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth._

**XXXXXXX**

He doesn't leave. It's not his fault. He's tried, several times. The first apartment he wants, the bank screws up the loan somehow, and someone else swoops in and rents it out from under him because he can't get the deposit in time. The second time, the guy he's trying to rent from decides at the last possible minute he doesn't want to rent the room out at all. The third time he narrowly misses being mugged walking back to the train station after looking at the place. After the sixth attempt, Raven comments dryly, "You'd probably be safer if you just stay here." Neither of them says anything about it again, but about a week later the recycling bin is half-full of room advertisements and cut-up cardboard boxes.

* * *

_Hope you all are still enjoying this. I have no idea how many more chapters there will be, I keep thinking I know the ending and then more things come up._

_Until next time,_

_OSuzanne_


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